The Niyamas

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 Of the five principles, a disciplined life I find I respect the most.  I like that they list sleep first, despite the fact would love to dream my life away, I still force myself to get up and do all the other things. Without leisure, hanging out with friends for human relationships, obviously food (though clearly this could be disciplined more…) the drive of work to pay bills and the down time in between, I sometimes become imbalanced. “Too much whip and not enough carrot”, and I am both master and horse on this point. Allowing myself to relax all the time with fun activities will make me unwilling to preform efficiently at my jobs but if I work all the time I will burn out both mentally and physically.

 

I am not a very religious person so studying, intoning and chanting religious text daily is not likely. As far as other spiritual or inspiring text, time prevents me from reading much of anything beyond study and informational need. Also I find that buying books that I may or may not like and could possibly only read once, if ever is wasteful. I do have a few authors that I like but text don’t really qualify for everyday study. I do however have a plaque in my kitchen that states “Nothing is worth more than this day” and I should read that more often.

 

Respect for these principles and others can be self-contained and moderated if you also follow the simple guide line of “live and let live”. I should work on this idea. Just because I may pick up a piece of garbage off the street to recycle, doesn’t mean I should run up to a guy I notice throwing a bag of mostly recyclable material and dump it out onto his lawn demanding him to separate it out so it can be reused. Also yelling at some old lady walking out of a grocery store with all of her purchase triple bagged while shaking my reusable shopping bags in defiance at her doesn’t do any good if that is the way she shops. Not that I have taken it to this extreme but a better way would be to give the lady one of my bags and tell her it is a lot stronger than any plastic bags, it is far less prone to getting holes and can carry as much or as little as she’d like.

 

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                I do over analysis a lot, and this can lead to indecision. However I am also a proactive person so if it seems right I may just go for it without instruction. This sometimes causes plan conflicts at work such as putting stuff in the wrong place or not knowing it was meant for someone else, like in the case of food or inventory. Sometimes this can cause me to have to do extra work and in others it saves my superiors the headache of finding me something productive to do, that in the end helps them out a lot.

                If I do something hastily or in frustration, it can turn out poorly or below my satisfaction or those I am doing it for. Like this reflection I have attempted it 4 times now answering in many ways and reread over and over again in an attempt to sound logical, thoroughly thought out and not overly emotional. I hope I have succeeded but like most things in life, all take practice and redevelopment, if left unexplored after long periods of idleness, as my writing has been. I recognize these setbacks and outside critiquing as crucial parts of learning and development. Only upon reflection of possible causes to errors can one evolve habits to prevent them.

 

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I believe I am equally responsible if I act directly, if I delegate, or let something ride when doing something impatiently, greedily, angrily, or in aberration. An example of this is how I handle or answer to problems concerning environmental struggles. My first mode is to tackle the problem head on, normally forcefully, because of the negative effects of the action in question. Approaching it in this way normally would only incur a negative or hesitant response, where if I had instead offered politely another alternative, the outcome may have swayed more in my favor. If I delegate aggressively, angrily or pettily then the base layered conclusion of the fight will reflect this as well. Letting anything ride by agreement that is based in these emotions or lack of reflection, can easily result in a bad outcome. From frustration, giving up on something because it’s easier to when it was worth more effort to get right, to agreeing with someone simply to save argument on the point when you are certain what they say is wrong is the same as lying. If you question their source without malice or arrogance, or at your input informally creating debate not argument, one should do so.

 

Some negative consequences can last forever as the saying goes “don’t burn your bridges.” Simply put there are just somethings you cannot go back on or redo.

 

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                If I said that I demonstrate myself as a victim, I am sure most of you would laugh. No I am more aggressive and that is one of my greatest failings. I may be a driven and also very outspoken person, but I go about it the wrong ways. Sometimes I think I should make a posit reminder on a Post-it and put it on my hand reading; “Shut up! No one cares…” Despite my brash and often uncalled for “tidbits” as I like to see them I may surprise you when I say my “social courage” is only a recent development. I should reflect on my old demeanor and others of greater patience, to help soften my temperament without losing my proactive and driven nature.

 

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                I blurt out a lot of stuff as I said before, not sure if its truth, but its information I guess. Painful. I have been known to blurt out things that may be painful to me or to the one listening at times. My filter has had its time of blockage and having things easily slip through.

 

                If I think things out more thoroughly then promises are more likely kept or made realistically, as well as the things I say could make less harmful impacts.

 

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                Question #4 is tricky as I answered it in a refection I omitted from this assignment. More like it was a tangent more than an answer really… Citing properly is something I will be learning how to do shortly in my English 1010 but before I do I have found other ways that I hope keeps me honest in my voice and written work. I imply a “They or Others say” technique with as much as I can recall about the person, place or informational bases as I am able, or at least a direction to check my unsure assessments.  Sometimes the “bird’s word” is just a whistle in the ear but that doesn’t mean it’s always a mockingbird unless you yourself take the time to check.

 

                I asked my boyfriend if he had heard the saying in the last question on page 121 and how he would explain it and he said, “It implies that every wealthy person became so by some dishonest mean, either by beguiling someone, cheating, stealing or was the son of someone who had.” I am not sure I agree with that unless having more than one needs is implied here even if by working hard to earn it. Not sure if I am getting the whole concept there.

 

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                Physically I could be in better shape but I have higher stamina then a lot of people I know. Mentally and at times physically I am tired or tense a good deal of the time recently. Joggling a lot of schoolwork with self-driven projects and promised engagements as well as keeping up with work and home life has been heavier on my shoulders then it has been in the past.

 

                A recent display of bottled up emotions had my boyfriend worried and because of the sudden burst I wasted a lot of time and energy fritting about things I was told I shouldn’t have. If only it had been a bottle of champagne bursting in celebration and not one that spills all over yourself, the floor and the ones around you….

 

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                 I am so close to being a pack rat that I don’t freely admit it and instead like to think of myself as a ferret hiding my shiny treasures just because I like them…. Collector if you would… But this doesn’t mean in all bad senses of the word in this context. I am a Collector of not just things, but of ideas and of dreams. I have composition books upon books of thoughts, ideas, questions, reflections, drawings, theories, and desires. Pages full of treasures to me and me alone that I keep hidden and unknown. I collect song lyrics, pictures, costumes, philosophy, and journal entries. Art materials some may think of as garbage, lists of words to signify drifting dreams, alone or in series, miniature man and massive monsters, microscopic moments and madding morphings, stacks of floor plans in my mind of the hopes I pray to build for myself and others. “Cogito, ergo sum, translated,I think therefore I am” (Descartes)…but I feel because I must and I know because I sought and I build because I am able and keep wishing because I hope. I collect things, yes, but I hope I’m not the only one.

 

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If you can’t tell by now I have been doing this over many days and many mindsets. But almost there! This and 2 more after! Ok Purity. Hmm. Would you kill me if I said I have not been able to find time to practice yoga much beyond class and have you seen my hair lately?! Yeah… So I could improve on this some and probably not become overly vain. This was part the case after losing a lot of weight and though there are somethings I did I wish I hadn’t, the truth is they all led me here. Point, the moment of inflection passed by spurring the line of events after.  So here I am wondering if a new haircut could do me some good…

 

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Combining answers btw. I think by listening to others I focus some and get new ideas but it may spark a “tidbit” that I want to add.  Advice can help at times and others it makes me want to give up especially after multiple attempts full of considerable effort. Peer review to classify as a scholarly writer would make me shrink back into fantasy mode saying “It isn’t wrong if it’s not real! ... Yet…” This is a good way to observe and analyze oneself but a better one is to gauge off reaction of others and this is where my overanalyzing happens or you may call it the paranoia meter that broke its dial. The best way I find is stepping back from over activity and reflect, see from another’s view. This is another reason I omitted my first 3 original reflections of the nyamas. My brain was fried after a long day of doing assignments.

 

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I see the light! One to go and it may stay within 4 pages!

I’m I always smiling? Only at all the stupid hypocrisy and contradictions around me. Why cry when you can laugh at the irony of it all. I am majorly outnumbered, at odds, out gunned, and overwhelmed by it all, all the time. Question why, is a waste of breathe. Think of how, can be a tide of backwards efforts. Blame who, is counterproductive. Ask what if and be turned down. Question when and be disappointed. We have been and will be just a blip on the 9.6 billion year possible lifespan of this planet and I could laugh if there was time for it but to others watching beyond our blue/green bubble we will be here and gone before anyone even noticed. “Nothing is worth more, than this day” because it may be the last one we get.  How is that for a change in mindset?

 

I have been content and satisfied in the past after seeing my actions and the positive things that have come of it and of others actions. I’m not dead yet so I am still “pursue happiness.” One of my favorite movies that gets me to tear every time I watch it and is titled such The Pursuit of Happiness is a prime example. In it he quotes “how did they know to add the pursuit?” Because we as people will always seek it, will always reach and grab at it. Knowing we may hold it in brief moments but eventually someone or thing will snatch it away. That’s life. For our part to it, though, happiness is self-reliant. If you don’t reach for it then you will never feel it. “Can’t win the lottery if you don’t play” as they say.

 

DONE AND DONE 10 points for maybe 10 hours but every moment was well spent. It was like I just visited a shrink, which may after reading this you could think should become a mission  :P